the phillies won.
i think that cole hamels is pretty cute :)
too bad he's married though, ugh.


work was good tonight. a few people made my day :)
i got my paycheck and i'm actually content with working there now.

i'm currently confused and don't know what to do.

now i'm gonna go and eat my dinner.

peace.

It's just like starting over.

I'm in need of a change. MAJORLY. I want new clothes, new friends, new hair color and new practically everything. I'm sick of the same old shit. The clothes that are just thrown around in my closet that i NEVER wear. The "friends" who say they will always be there one day but then the next they fuck you over. my hair is gross looking. it's about a thousand different colors and makes me look blah. some guy came into work and said that my hair compliments my face. THAT'S when i decided i want to cut my hair off and dye it a different color. what a creeper he was.

I just want a fresh new start.

WORST BIRTHDAY EVER.

stupid so called best friends.
stupid weather.
stupid day.

stupid.stupid.stupid.


i seriously hate my life.

October 27th, 2008

Another year older and nothing feels different. It's hard to believe i'm nineteen.
I feel like crying. I don't want to grow up because i know i will screw up my life. I feel like everyone is forgetting my birthday. My friends haven't said anything to me and it just doesn't feel the same. I feel invisable. I really hope tomorrow is a good day. But i'm not doing anything so i'm guessing it will just be boring.


Another year older and everything feels the same....

Tomorrow is my birthday :)(:

I've decided to give my job another chance after i saw my first pay check. Wednesday night i had a nervous break down because i felt so much pressure and stress with being a cashier i felt like i couldn't handle it. I wanted to quit. But the next day i went in with a bad mood and the outcome of the night was pretty good. For once i actually had fun working. I think that's what made me want to stay. Well, between having fun and my pay check. I've learned that you're going to have good days and you're going to have bad days, that the customers aren't always nice and easy to talk to, and that i have to keep in mind that every Thursday when i get my pay check, it's all worth it.

Monday is my birthday and it doesn't feel like it. I'm not celebrating it this year so i guess that could be why. I feel like people are forgetting that it's my birthday and i don't like that feeling very much. I wish i was five again so i could get tons of presents and all of them would be toys. But i'm not a little girl anymore and that makes me want to cry. I don't wanna grow up.

I also have been feeling like i'm drifting away from all of my close/best friends and i don't like that feeling very much either. I guess that's what happens when you get older. You learn what it is that you want and sometimes you and your friends aren't compatible anymore. It's sad but it's the way life goes and i guess i have to accept that. I hate losing friends. but not as much as i hate growing up.

Hate is a strong word but i really really don't like you.

Well i've only be working as a cashier for four days (today will be my fifth) and i absolutely hate it. I was all happy and optimistic before i got the job but now i'm just in a bad mood and always upset. I hate it. I need to find a new job asap. but the only problem with that is there is no where around here that is hiring so i'm gonna have to stick it out for a little while longer (probably a few more months) and save as much money as i can. At least i get my pay check tomorrow.



jdshsajdfhksfsh;;;
I want to go back to high school.

This is the life.

I got the job :)
I start Sunday morning and i don't even care that i have to wake up at 7 to be there.
I'm so excited to get money now and meet new people. I feel like i'm finally taking charge of my life and getting things together. Maybe i'll even be able to start taking classes in the spring?


Life is so amazing right now and i'm so excited for everything to start taking off.

twenty two.

This weekend was pretty sweet. Friday i had to go to Redner's for a job interview that i was hella nervous about but it was super easy. Then yesterday i got to hang out with my best fraand Tara. We went to pottstown for a band competition that her boyfriend was in. It was pretty fun. I love long drives with the music turned up and just singing in the car with my best friend. I live for those nights. I hate that i don't get to see her as much as i used to but when i do we always have a great time and make the most of it.

I was hoping to just relax since it's Sunday, "the day of rest" but of course i can't. I have a lot of things to get done before this week. I figure that i'll be working at my new job within two weeks. So that means i'll be having my own money for once. It's about time.

uh! twenty two more days and then i'm 19. I don't want to grow up.

start of something new.

I went for my first job interview today and i was unbearably nervous. I'm not a people person at all but i really need a job and money so i have to work sometime in my life. It went okay for the most part. The manager asked me to talk about myself which is definitely not my favorite topic especially while being nervous. Not a great mix if you ask me. After being interviewed, i had to go into a back room to answer 90 honesty questions. Then he said that he would be in touch with me in a few days. I'm really nervous and i have this uneasy feeling. I hope i get this job because most of my friends work there. So i wouldn't be too uncomfortable. But then again since i might be a cashier, i would have to deal with a lot of people. One of my weaknesses.
My horoscope fits me perfectly today which is freaky. It usually always fits into my life and i just don't understand how it's usually always right. Anyways, here it is:

"You are standing on the threshold of a new phase in your life and you may be feeling a combination of excitement and fear. You know that you can no longer rely on your old ways of doing things. It's time to leave your ingrained habits behind and try something new. You'll feel better about yourself as you step away from the familiar and into the unknown."

So weird how it seems to be right.

Boringness.

I haven't written for a while. Well, maybe to you it's only a couple of days but to me, it feels like a while. Today is the second day of October and I'm really happy. Only 25 more days and i'll be 19. It's the last year in the teenage years and i'm kinda depressed about it. I hate getting older. I wish on each birthday you could get younger instead of older. That would be an interesting experience.

Tomorrow is October 3rd and i'm so glad that it will finally be over because for over a month now everything seems to revolve around that date. Whether it be movies coming out, get togethers with friends or family, or just anything really. It's all on October 3rd. Can't they pick another day?

I don't really have much else to say. Nothing new is going on.

yay, for a boring life.